Potty Potter Movie
by Laura456
Summary: Have u seen Scary Movie? They make fun of a lot of movies, right? Well, that's what I did here. So, read, enjoy, and please review!


Okay, this is a fic that's parodying a lot of movies and TV series. I am in a very good mood now, and I feel like writing this, so read, enjoy and review. Thanx. Bye. Laura  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing...if I make a list of all the stuff I'm gonna use, this would be longer than my fic, so I'll just say I own nothing.  
  
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In the Gryffindor common room, Harry was sitting with Ron, talking about Hermione, Harry's girlfriend. There was a pause and Harry looked out the window, thinking about something.  
  
`What are you thinking about?' Ron asked.  
  
`She's really pretty, isn't she?'  
  
`Nah, once you've been her boyfriend, she's...icky! yuck! Ugh!!!'  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows at Ron.  
  
`Repeat what you've just said!'  
  
`I said, she's icky! Yuck! Ugh!!!'  
  
`You'll pay for that one!' Harry said, as he took out his robes, allowing Ron to see that he was wearing karate clothes. `Show me what you've got, Weasley! Hi-yaaaaaaa!!!!!'  
  
`You shouldn't have messed up with me, Potter!' Ron said, as he also took out his robes, letting everyone see he was also wearing karate clothes. `Hi-ya, hi-ya, hata, hata, hata, hi-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' He yelled with every hit he gave Harry. Harry jumped aside to block Ron's hit. He stood in front of him. He raised up his hands and bend them to both sides, then he raised up his knee, in the famous "Karate Kid" movie pose, and then kicked Ron making him fall.  
  
`Never insult her in my presence.' He said as he sat down again.  
  
`Hi-yaa!' was Ron's reply looking up from the floor.  
  
`Whateva!' Harry said. Ron sat down again.  
  
Hermione came into the room.  
  
`Hi guys, what are you doing?' She asked, as she sat besides Harry and he put an arm around her.  
  
`Nothing, just talking.'  
  
`About what?'  
  
`Hmmm...boy talk?' Ron said. Harry looked at him. `What?'  
  
`Oh. Malfoy's asked me out.'  
  
`WHAT?!' Harry said.  
  
`Don't ask me what's gotten into him, coz I don't know.' Hermione answered. Harry stood up and narrowed his eyes looking out of the window.  
  
`Harry?' Hermione asked. Suddenly Harry turned dramatically to look at her.  
  
`Where's Malfoy?'  
  
`Oh Harry, don't go!' Hermione said.  
  
`Get away, woman! I'm gonna go!' He said going out of the common room. He went to the Great Hall, because he knew Malfoy was there.  
  
`Malfoy?'  
  
He turned to look at Harry.  
  
`Potter.' He said standing up and facing him.  
  
`How you doin'?' Harry asked him in a Joey Tribbiani way.  
  
`What?!'  
  
`I mean...' Harry cleared his throat. `Prepare to die!' He said, taking out a flashing blue sword from nowhere, and suddenly he was wearing Skywalker's clothes.  
  
`Oh, you wanna fight, don't ya? Okay, then prepare yourself.' Draco said as he also took a flashing red sword from nowhere, suddenly wearing Dark Vader clothes, with the mask and everything.  
  
They started fighting exactly like in "Star Wars". What they didn't noticed was that the reason of their fight wasn't there. Hermione Granger had taken the Titanic with Ron Weasley.  
  
`I'm flying!' Hermione said as she stood on the ship with Ron behind her. Suddenly, she felt that Ron wasn't there anymore, but she had her eyes closed. `Ron?' Then she fall down right to the sea. `ROOOOON!!!!!!'  
  
Hermione fall down, but was rescued by a Psyduck that was wondering there.  
  
`What the-`  
  
`Psy-yah-yay????'  
  
`Hey, stupid Pokemon, give me back my girlfriend!!!' Ron yelled from the ship.  
  
`At least this Pokemon cares about me!!!!' Hermione yelled at Ron.  
  
`WOOOOOOBOOOOOO!!!!!!!' Suddenly a Wobofet appeared of nowhere, as he usually does.  
  
`Oh, SHUT UP!!!!' Ron yelled at the Wobofet as he took out his wand and turned him into a cheese. Psyduck got totally crazy when he saw the cheese and immediately went onto the ship and run away with his beloved cheese, leaving Hermione floating on the sea. Ron threw himself to the sea and swam with Hermione back to Hogwarts. When they got there, Hermione went with Draco Malfoy and Ron went to his dorm.  
  
`Draco, I've been thinking. I think I do like you. Maybe we should go out some day.'  
  
`That's so cool! Yeah, we definitely should! Why not now?'  
  
`Okay.'  
  
They went to the grounds, and once they were there, they saw a staircase that led to a...U.F.O!  
  
`What the heck is that?!' Hermione said.  
  
Draco grinned. Hermione's eyes widen.  
  
`OH-MY-GOD, YOU'RE AN ALIEN!!!!!!!' She yelled as she tried to run, but Draco caught her and carry her up the staircase.  
  
`Hey, alien!' Harry yelled. Draco turned around. He saw Harry and Ron, both in black tuxedos. Harry elbowed Ron and Ron turned on a radio. Suddenly the "Men In Black" music started playing.  
  
`Here come the men in black...men in black...the galaxy defenders, here come the men in black...men in black...they won't let you remember!!!' Ron was singing along with the radio, at the same time he was dancing.  
  
`Ron, this is serious!' Harry said as he turned off the radio.  
  
Ron cleared his throat. `Yeah, you will die, alien!'  
  
`Try to stop me, wackos!!!' He said.  
  
`We will!!!' Harry said, taking out his super-duper-alien-exterminator 2001, and Ron took out his alien-killer 14, which was the same as Will Smith's. Draco gave a high cold laugh, when he saw Ron's imitation of gun.  
  
`Just shoot him!' Harry whispered.  
  
Ron shoot Draco and an incredible potent ray of light came out of it, throwing Malfoy to the ground. `Ouuuuhhhh, wicked!'  
  
`Hey, what about Hermione?'  
  
`Good point! Hermione!!!!' Ron said, going towards Malfoy followed by Harry. Ron got there, but instead of finding Hermione, Lily Potter was standing there, looking at him. Ron immediately took a blanket and curled up on the ground. Harry approached him.  
  
`Ron?'  
  
`I-see-dead-people...' He replied.  
  
`What are you talking about? That's Hermione!'  
  
`Oh...I thought she was your mom.'  
  
He stood up and went with the others back into the castle. They were walking till Hermione pointed out that Ron was missing.  
  
`Where did he go?!' Harry asked.  
  
`Maybe he's chicken out!' Draco said.  
  
`Oh, shut up. Lets go in here.' Hermione said pointing a dark room. She opened the door. There was an old lady sitting on the floor, all dressed in white.  
  
`Where is Ron?' Hermione asked her, shaking.  
  
`Are you mad? I am Ron.' The old lady said, with Ron's voice.  
  
`AGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!' They all screamed and stormed out of the room.  
  
`What-the-heck-was-that?!' Harry asked, breathlessly.  
  
`I-don't-know.' Draco said.  
  
`WOOOOOOOBOOOOOOO!!!!!!'  
  
`AGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!' They all screamed once more and run away. They managed to get inside a closet and stood there quiet.  
  
`How many Wobofets are there?' Ron asked.  
  
`RON! You're back! Where were you?' Hermione asked.  
  
`I went for some pizza at Pizza Hut. Want some?'  
  
`No thanks.' Hermione replied.  
  
`Jiggly, jiggly, puff, puff!!!'  
  
`Jigglypuff?' Asked Draco.  
  
`IS THIS DAMN PLACE FULL OF POKEMONS?!!!!!!' Harry yelled.  
  
Jigglypuff cleared his throat.  
  
`HE'S GONNA SING, AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Hermione yelled and all of them got out of the closet and run to the Great Hall. They were all sitting down on a table.  
  
`We've gotta be prepared for anything. In this crazy world, anything, and I mean ANYTHING can happen.' Draco said. Hermione's eyes widen.  
  
`What?' Harry asked.  
  
`What is that?' She asked, pointing to a shadow in the shape of a bat on the wall. The three guys turned around and looked at it.  
  
They turned again to see where it came from, and they saw it. It was Snape, all dressed up in a Batman costume.  
  
`Snape is Batman???!!!!!' Ron asked.  
  
`Look at that! Dobby is Robin!!!!' Harry said.  
  
`Oh, man!' Draco said.  
  
`What?' Hermione asked him.  
  
`I was supposed to be Robin!'  
  
`Shut up, Malfoy! Hey, weren't you an alien?!'  
  
`Oh, that was in other scene.'  
  
`Oh, okay. OH-MY-GOSH!!!!'  
  
`What, Hermione?'  
  
`Look there!!!! Hedwig is Superman!!!!!!'  
  
`Hermione...that's not Hedwig, it's Dumbledore, duh!' Harry paused. `OH-MY-GOD Dumbledore is Superman!!!!!!'  
  
`That oh-my-god was too girlish.' Draco whispered him.  
  
`I know, shut up.'  
  
`I'm kinda tired, I'm going to my dorm.' Draco said.  
  
`Okay, c ya!' They all said.  
  
`Okay, bye!' Draco said as he went out. `HEY, LOOK AT THIS!!!!! IT'S U2!!!!!!'  
  
`U2?!' Harry said as he went out immediately. `COOL!!!!'  
  
`It's a beautiful day...don't let it get away...ooouuuu-huuuuu!!!' Bono was singing.  
  
`Yeah! Woo-hoo!!!' Harry said. Suddenly, Hermione's mobile phone rang.  
  
`Hello?'  
  
`What's your favourite scary movie?'  
  
`Who is this?!'  
  
`I can see all of you, look what I do to your Potter friend...'  
  
Hermione turned to look at Harry, horrified.  
  
`Harry, to the floor!!!' She said, throwing herself on top of him.  
  
`Hermione!' Harry said in surprise, at the same time that a knife landed just besides him. Harry looked at it. `AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!'  
  
`Lets get outta here!' Hermione said. All of them started running.  
  
`I'm with ya all tha way, Bono!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Harry yelled at the U2 singer as he was pulled by Hermione. They hid in the same closet they had hidden last time.  
  
`How did you knew that was gonna happen?' Harry asked Hermione.  
  
`Jiggly, jiggly'  
  
`Woobooo!!!'  
  
`Oh, God!!!!' Ron said. He took both Pokemons and opened the closet door. `Jeez, get outta here!' He said, kicking them both out of there. He closed the door again.  
  
`Anyway, I received a phone call.'  
  
`So?'  
  
`He said, look what I'm gonna do to your Potter friend.' Hermione said, imitating the voice.  
  
`Oh. Where's your mobile phone?' Draco asked.  
  
`Left it outside. I was too scared.'  
  
Suddenly Ron's mobile phone rang. They all gasped.  
  
`Calm down. It must be a call from Pizza Hut sayin that my pizza's ready.'  
  
They all sighed.  
  
`Hello?' Ron paused. `AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!' He screamed.  
  
`AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!' They all screamed. Ron opened the door once more and threw the mobile phone away.  
  
`WOOOOOOBOOOOOO!!!!'  
  
`Sorry Wobofet!' And he closed the door.  
  
`What was it, what did he said?!' Hermione asked.  
  
`H-H-He s-s-said th-that they-they only had...'  
  
`Yes? Come on Ron, say it!' Harry said.  
  
`Spit it out, Weasley!'  
  
`...th-they o-only had ONION PIZZAS!!!!!!!!!'  
  
`DAMN, RON!' Harry said. But then, Draco's mobile rang.  
  
`Yeah, what do you want?'  
  
`I see you, Malfoy. I see you all...'  
  
`Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. "I see you, you see me"...wait, was it "I love you, you love me" Is that song from the Teletubbies?'  
  
`No, it's from Barney. The Teletubbies go...dinky winky, dipsy, lala, po!''  
  
`Oh, thanx. Anyway, what do you want?'  
  
`I see you. WO- I see you. I have your ham...'  
  
`AAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!' Draco yelled.  
  
`What?' They all asked.  
  
`HE'S GOT LOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
`Who's Lola?'  
  
`My ham.' Draco answered. He went back to the phone. `How do I know it is Lola?'  
  
`Does Lola have a bikini and sunglasses?'  
  
`OH, LOLAAAAAAAAAAAAA, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!- Wait, what colour is the bikini?'  
  
`Purple with yellow dots.'  
  
`Don't you touch Lola, you miserable bastardo.' Draco said with an Italian accent.  
  
Harry opened the door and stuck his head out. He saw a small black figure walking along the corridor, talking through a mobile phone. He turned to look at Draco.  
  
`Hey, Lola-lover. Look at this!'  
  
`What?' Draco asked going out. They all went out of the closet.  
  
They approached the figure, and they realized that it was the same thing that attacked in "Scream".  
  
Harry and Ron threw themselves towards the "Scream" guy, and suddenly Lola came out flying. Draco paralysed.  
  
`LOOOOOOLAAAAAA, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' He yelled, catching Lola, just before she hit the floor. Then, he went to a corner and curled up there hugging Lola traumatized. Harry and Ron, had the "Scream" guy wrapped.  
  
`Hermione, take his mask out.'  
  
Hermione slowly took the mask out.  
  
`OH-MY-GOD, IT'S A POTATO!' Harry said.  
  
`NO IT'S A MUFFIN!' Ron said.  
  
`NO, IT'S WOBOFET!'  
  
`WOOOOBOOOO!!!!!'  
  
Suddenly The Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry and Bono (U2) appeared and started playing "Conga" at the same time that Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Kate Winslet, Leonardo Di Caprio, Matt Le Blanc, Jigglypuff, Haley Joel-Osment, Dinky Winky, Dipsy, Lala, Po and Barney danced the Conga. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco & Lola and Psyduck & his cheese started dancing too, and they all danced happily ever after.  
  
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A/N: Hope ya all liked it. I was in one of my usual good-weird moods, but this time, I decided to take advantage of it and write a crazy fic, so that was it. Thanx for reading, and please review! Bye, Laura. 


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